Arrived at the ground with my 2 children (aged 10 and 8) at approximately 11.15 am, only to find C. Ock , Rainman and Hags already at the ground. C.Ock and Rainman attempted to make conversation with me, unfortunately I was unable to understand them.
Luckily Hags was able to relay to me what they were trying to say.
The conversation with Hags was as follows:
Me: You guys are early, what time did you get here?
Hags: 9.00am
Me: Have you guys been to bed?
Hags: No.
Me: Excellent preparation. C. Ock will be opening the batting and Rainman and yourself will be likely to be opening the bowling.
Hags: Hey Wrighty see the laughing group over there (all aged 60+ and mainly women). Chad tried to make them laugh by telling them a filthy joke!
Shortly thereafter Duncan Wright proceeds to take a leak behind a tree.
Hags: C. Ock is trying to say to you that Duncan is definitely your son, have a look at him!!!
Shortly thereafter a few more players arrived. The Fly comes over with a very concerned look on his face and said "Rainman is blind", to which I replied "Really, you do not think I realised this" Fly replied by saying "This would never happen at Hawthorn" and my reply was "It would have definitely happened at St Kilda"
Paul Huxley arrives and looks at the batting order and then says "This is the best 11, I have ever seen at Barnies, bar 1 (trying to say that his uncle is past his best – what a load of frog s hit). I always feel more confident when there are no Vana’s in the team" Maximum fine of $150 to Paul Huxley for disrespecting 3 Official Club Legends.
After a somewhat different start to the day, I then proceeded towards the opposing captain and the umpire to undertake the toss of the coin. The umpire said something to me to which again I had no idea what he said. I asked him if he had been drinking/snorting with 3 of my team mates? I was unable to understand his reply.
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The opposing captain noticing that the umpire was not the sharpest tool in the shed, took the coin off him and said "You call Wrighty". I called heads and tails came up. Sacred Heart sent us into bat.
As promised, C.Ock opened the batting with the Fly. It was a pity the laughing group had left the Park as they would have been p issing themselves if they had seen C. Ock bat. Numerous attempts to smash the ball were unsuccessful and numerous attempts of running were also unsuccessful. He actually fell over on at least 3 occasions. Surprisingly C.Ock was out shortly thereafter for only a few. Gav was next in and did make many either. Barnies 2 for 37. The Fly made a well made 24 before playing on. George batted at number 4. The Official Club Legend (Dennis Huxley) was next in and after playing well for a few balls he went to smash a ball out of the park only to be caught! Dennis puts the hat on. Paul Huxley was next in. George is out . I entered the crease and at the end of the over said to Paul" We need put on fifty". Paul out the very next ball making only 10. Patto (great to see him back) next in, I said to him "We need to put on fifty" Yes you guess it Patto out for nought (less than 1). Barnies 7 for 125 and in some trouble. Hags came to crease and I changed my tack and said to Hags "We need to hang around for awhile" I ended up with 21. Hags made 4 and Barnies 9 for 151. Enter Rainman and Jimmy. What a magnificent partnership of 71 for the last wicket with Jimmy smashing 52 in no time and Rainman was not out 19. Barnies all out 222. Great to see McCullum sitting near Barnies only to see Rainman and Jimmy smash his team everywhere. Even better not one Barnie said a word to him. After all he is serving a life ban (plus 25 years) from the Barnies! Lets hope he gets shot again shortly.
Rainman and Jimmy open the bowling. Jimmy got the opening wicket and ended up with 1 for 30 off 6 overs. Rainman bowled without luck 0 for 12 off 8. Hags bagged 2 for 23 (and nearly all the runs that came off his bowling were from his slower ball, he refused skipper’s instructions not to the bowl the slower ball and was subsequently taken off). Pav bowled well without luck 0 for 29 off 8. George bowled. C.Ock (1 wicket), Patterson (I wicket) and Morris 3 for 2 off 2 overs cleaned up the tail. Jimmy dropped a sitter and then proceeded to take one of the best catches of the season
Sacred Heart all out 127.
Some quotes during our fielding time.
Paul Huxley " Wrighty he called me a fat c---" My reply "He is correct"
George throws ball at the red haired foe from Sacred Heart and I gave him a spray for an over throw. George’s says "Wrighty I tried to hit him in the face". My reply was "Fair enough then".
C.Ock "Sleep is over rated".
Morris " Wrighty do you realise that I made more runs than you?"
Can someone please tell Paul Huxley that he is not the VICE CAPTAIN every week?
GREAT WIN FOR THE BARNIES
Yours Truly
WRIGHTY (Soon to be OCL
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